Lovefool

Is love at first sight total bs? 

No. 

Okay, a bit. But here’s how I think it works:

I think that love at first sight is that connection- that instant when you look across a room or stumble through a doorway or sit down at a table at a bar, look up, and instantly feel like the person in your direct line of vision is going to have a defining role in your life. 

And I think it’s largely our own responses to those impulses that define the follow-through; if I think that the person across from me will have something beautiful to offer my life, if I feel a level of attraction or connection, I’m probably infinitely more likely to be open to the development of our relationship from a chance encounter to something more substantial. 

Sometimes people just kind of... walk haphazardly into your life, and sometimes those people redefine you, or at least let you redefine yourself. 

The first time I met Pumpkin we were both getting drunk off our asses at an event; within a month, and after only two hangouts, I’d decided he was my favourite, my #1. It wasn’t until 6 months later that our casual acquaintanceship developed into a solid friendship. 

When I met Goldilocks we had one night in which we said probably no more than 3 words to each other, and the next week bonded over our love of the Body Shop’s Hemp line, and within a week or two following that had become fast friends. 

And when I met 1002things, way back in the day, I saw this amazingly cool lady every week for months on end before we finally sat down, talked, and developed into incredibly close friends. 

Was there an instant connection with each of them? I’m guessing so- but I met all three in three very different circumstances. So, while Goldilocks and I hit it off instantly, Pumpkin and I took a little longer to finally take off on our fab friendship, and 1002things and I had a much slower courtship which has landed me with a relationship with one of the best people I know. 

Love at first sight? Maybe a hint at love. A connection. An instant in which we decide- is this a person I’m going to invest my love in right now? Or do I maybe need to wait? 

Lean on Me

Do we only need God when life smacks us in the face?

I’m tempted to say yes. I want to hope it’s a no, though. 

As someone who isn’t very faith-filled, I don’t have a lot of first-hand experience in this department, but I think it’s safe to say that when shit hits the fan we all turn to our systems of support. 

Two weeks ago my grandma passed away, and my very first impulse was to call Pumpkin, to check in and just hear his voice, to have some sort of steadying force. I turned to the person I not only wanted in my life at that moment, but a person I suddenly realized I needed. And I don’t think it’s out of line to say that people of religion, people of spiritual faith, have that same impulse- to turn to someone or something that they feel they can rely on. 

At the same time, Pumpkin is also at the top of the list for calls when things go amazingly well, when I get great news or something beautiful happens in the world. I’d like to think that people turn to their God in those moments as well. 

But I guess my question now is- does that still count as a smack in the face? I mean, yeah, usually we’d assume that getting smacked is a bad thing, but maybe sometimes we need to be slapped with something amazing to wake up and get out of our own heads. Maybe the key is wondering if we turn to God in those mediocre moments, in those times when things aren’t particularly awesome or negative, but are just... mundane. 

I mean, okay, I tend to text Pumpkin about pretty much everything, because for some reason things like “man, I just sneezed like 8 times and every time i let out a tiny little ‘achoo’” are the kinds of things I feel I need to share with him. But I guess I just don’t know if God comes into play during those moments as well? 

Thoughts?

Doing the Impossible

Life's Big Questions: March 8, 2009: What Would You Attempt To Do If You Knew You Would Not Fail?

If I’d answered this question a few weeks ago when I’d initially intended to do so, my response would have been substantially different.

Yes, I’ve been slacking on my posting, but, to be fair, the last few weeks have been a total shit show. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, made a huge mess of things, now I’m going to go out on a limb and take some much-needed chances.

Today is the Pumpkin’s birthday, which means that for the last 7 days I’ve been plotting a whole slough of little surprises and gifts and fun things, including what I guess was actually a surprise party at our weekly coffee/pub night last night.

To be fair, we intended to surprise the kid at midnight, but at 11:17 I looked over at Goldilocks and we decided that we were sleepy enough to ignore the time and just celebrate a few minutes early. So, after excusing ourselves under the rouse of needing to get my wallet from his car, we brought in a gorgeous (and deliciously diabetic) Cravelicious Crave Cake, lit a squiggly candle, and plopped it in front of the Pumpkin, with Happy Birthday belting out at the top of our lungs.

I then proceeded to hand him his obscene and hilarious birthday card (the HOMO Boner Donor Card), and mortify him with his Birthday Poem.

There were a whole lot of inside jokes, a whole lot of mocking that some people still won’t understand, some disgustingly gross sections, and then a few heart-warming passages explaining how much we love him.

We laughed, some of us may have teared up a bit, but at the end of the night it just turned into one massive Pumpkin Love Fest, which, looking at that, sounds kind of kinky.

What I’m trying to get at, though, is that the Pumpkin just seemed so happy- I know it was a combination of a few things, but I honestly don’t know if the evening could have gone any better. In the end, I think he felt truly loved by everyone there, and if it would be possible to replicate that feeling every day, I would.

I don’t mean necessarily for the Pumpkin specifically, but rather for everyone I hold dear to me.

What if every single day I could make someone I loved feel ridiculously appreciated? Make them smile and laugh and blush and just irrevocably happy?

If I could choose one thing that I could try to do and not fail? Making those I care about happy. Every single day. Or even just make them all happy for one day. One day of total, outright bliss and contentment with the world.

It’s a very selfish thing to want to do, because at the end of the day, the thing that makes me happiest is making other people happy. I’m honestly not sure who enjoyed last night more- the Pumpkin or myself. All I know is that when I went home afterwards, I could not stop smiling, and I went to sleep knowing that if today could be 1/10th as good as yesterday, it would still leave me entirely happy.

At the end of the day, what else really matters? There will always be war, some people will always go hungry. There will always be pain and suffering and, while I’d like to believe that we could somehow solve all our problems, I think we’d just develop a whole slough of new ones out of sheer boredom if we could. So if I could do one thing, and be guaranteed not to fail?

Make people happy. No question.

Ca-caw.